GoodBye Jack
by madladypoet
Summary: This story is set after the end of season six. It picks up at Heller's residence after Jack says his good-byes to Audrey.
1. Chapter 1

_Finding Her_

Jack Bauer opened the door and stepped out into the rising sun. The Heller residence was located in Malibu and the backyard featured a vertical drop into the ocean below. Jack walked toward the edge and looked down. He found himself mesmerized by the crashing waves, but did not attempt to jump into the water below.

"Face it bud," he growled to himself, "You are not going to kill yourself."

Instead, Jack watched the sunrise over the ocean. The fallout from the nuclear blast had yet to reach Malibu, so Jack took a moment to enjoy this sunrise since it would probably be the last that he would see in a while. Fallout from the nuclear explosion was going to spread throughout the west coast and sunrises and sunsets were going to be a thing of the past for a long time. Jack sighed. No matter how hard he tried, he always felt that he somehow failed. Thousands would die because he had failed to stop the detonation.

"Come on, Jack" his inner voice growled again. "Even your death wouldn't have stopped the terrorists from detonating the bomb."

No, thought Jack, but it would have ended his pain. He thought two years in a Chinese prison was hell, but no, coming back to the states was even more painful than he thought.

Curtis, Jack thought, and then closed his eyes to ward off the pain of it. "Christ," he growled angrily, "I killed one of my best friends and for what?" Tears began to stream down his face. No matter what happened to him in his life from now on, he would never forgive himself for killing Curtis. Nothing justified it. The look on Curtis's face when Jack shot him would stay with Jack for the rest of his life.

Drying his face, Jack looked back at the sunrise. The sun was now moving upward in the sky, yet dark clouds were now moving out toward the ocean signaling that the fallout from the nuclear bomb had reached Malibu. Ash began a light rain and Jack turned and walked toward his car. He did not go back inside. He did not want to see Heller or Audrey again. Heller was right. Jack needed to let Audrey go and close that chapter of his life.

Opening the door of his car, Jack sat in the driver's seat and turned on the ignition. Audrey, he thought breathing in her name. Hers was another life that he ruined. Audrey had given him so much. Just when he never thought he would love someone again after Teri's death, Audrey brought him love, faith and hope. "What did you give her in return," whispered his inner voice? "Pain and degradation" came the answer. He saw the look on Audrey's face when CTU saved her from the terrorists. She was not there, but back in China where she had been subjected to torture that Jack could not even imagine. She did it for him. Tears began to appear in his eyes again. Christ, was Kim right? Was Jack just a magnet for death?

Driving down the street, small flecks of ash began to rain down on his windshield. Jack turned on the windshield wipers, but to no avail as the ash began to smear across the windshield. Jack sighed, it was going to be a long road home and to make matters worse, his head was beginning to pound with a headache that only Jack Daniels and Bayer could cure. Pulling the car over, Jack fumbled for his wallet. Bill Buchanan gave it back to him. At the time, Jack could not figure out why. He was giving his life to save the country and he would not need his wallet. Breathing in, Jack realized that Bill was counting on Jack to fight his way out of that situation. Jack did not know whether to smile or laugh at Bill's faith in him.

Opening his wallet, Jack found his driver's license, credit card (now expired), photos of Kim, Audrey and Teri and wad of cash. Jack pulled the bills out and counted—there were at least 1000 dollars there and a note from Buchanan. "This isn't much, but I thought it would give you a start." "Thanks for everything." –Bill. Jack smiled to himself and put the money back in his wallet. Next, he thumbed through his photos. There was one of him and Kim when she was a baby. Another was him and Teri on vacation on Hawaii. The third was of him and Audrey at a dinner party for her father, Secretary Heller. Each photo represented a piece of Jack's past and seeing them made it all the more painful for him. Teri and Audrey were lost to him, thought Jack, but Kim wasn't. Picking up her picture, Jack thought about his relationship with his daughter. It was one of the most important in his life, but it was the one he always seemed to fail at. Jack knew that Kim didn't want to see him again and he couldn't blame her, but he needed to see her again. Taking a breathe, Jack picked up his cell phone and dialed.

"Bill Buchanan" came a crisp voice.

"Bill, this is Jack." said Bauer quietly. "I wanted to thank you for the money."

"Jack," responded Bill, "it was the least I could do."

"Bill, I need an address" said Jack and then gave Buchanan the name. Jack could hear the shock in Buchanan's voice when Bill responded.

"Jack are you sure?" said a worried Bill, "I thought you didn't want to see Kim."

"I didn't want to hurt her that's why." said Jack "But with everything that has happened today, I need to see her."

"Sure," said Bill. Jack could hear Buchanan typing and hear him audibly sigh. "Here's the address for you."

Jack wrote the address down on the back of Kim's baby picture. "Thanks Bill."

"Jack," said Bill quietly, "Be careful out there." "When the air clears, all of us are going to have a lot to answer for."

Jack hung up without responding. There was always something to answer for. Jack felt as though he had spent his life answering for something. Lying back against the seat, Jack closed his eyes and savored the quiet. In prison, it was rarely quiet. Someone was always screaming, pleading and begging. After a while, thought Jack, prisoners rarely reacted to these sounds, it usually meant that someone else was being punished and not you.

Jack opened his eyes and looked out the window. Ash was falling heavier now. Christ, he thought, I will be lucky to make it anywhere with this kind of visibility. Getting out of the car, he threw the keys in and slammed the door shut. Stretching his legs, which were now sore, Jack began walking. He was going to see his daughter.


	2. Chapter 2

_Several days later_

Jack pulled into the gas station into Manchester, New Hampshire. Despite the fact that it was late summer, the air was cool and leaves were already beginning to change. Jack stepped out of the car and stretched his legs. He had driven for 16 hours a day for the past three days to get from California to New Hampshire and the cross-country drive had helped Jack get ready to see his daughter. He had combed his memories to find the good times they had shared and wanted to use those memories to convince his daughter that he was worth spending time with. Along the way, he had talked to Bill Buchanan who told Jack that he needed to turn himself in to federal marshal's in Washington to answer for what happened in California. Buchanan promised to hold off the marshal's for as long as he could, but he urged Jack to make his trip to New Hampshire a quick one.

Apparently, the air was clearing in California and Washington, D.C. pretty quickly.

"Can I help you?" inquired the gas attendant, coming up behind Jack.

"Yes, I am trying to find this address," said Jack, pointing out to the address listed.

The attendant scratched his head and looked at Jack, "You know the Hensley's?"

"Yeah, sort of." Said Jack, trying to avoid further inquiries. "Could I get that address?"

The attendant gave Jack a strong once over, but ultimately gave him the address. Jack thanked the man, got in his car and drove off. In his rearview mirror, he could see the attendant walk back into his shop. Jack could imagine the attendant picking up the phone and calling the Hensley's to warn them that a strange man was asking about them. He had to smile. Small town people were always suspicious of outsiders unless you had at least three generations of family from that town. Jack had to admit that it surprised him that his daughter would move to a small town since she had grown up in Los Angeles, but if Kim truly wanted a new life, Manchester, New Hampshire was about as different from L.A. as one could get.

Jack drove through the center of town. Manchester, New Hampshire was the classic model of a small town. Storefronts indicated that the shops had been owned by generations of Manchester families all invested in the town's survival. The town streets were populated with its citizens shopping as it was a Friday and a payday. Jack drove slowly trying to absorb it all. This is where his daughter lived. Jack could see the attraction. Nothing ever went on here. No terrorists acts. No threats against family members. Manchester was a town where people could keep their doors unlocked and where neighbors looked out for each other. It was the perfect place for someone looking to get away from bad memories. Jack smiled for the first time in years. Maybe when he was ready to retire, he could settle here.

Fat chance, he laughed to himself.

Jack turned down Central Avenue to Brighton Street. Kim lived a mile down Brighton street. As Jack cruised toward his daughter's home, he thought of how to approach her. Should he just walk up and say, "Hi Kim, it's dad." "Hey sweetheart, guess what?" "I'm really not dead!"

Yeah, that will work, thought Jack angrily. Come on, he thought to himself, use your brain.

Approaching Kim's house, Jack rolled to a stop. The house was an old Victorian, dark blue with white trim. The house had three stories and Jack could hear the wind chimes ringing in the light breeze. The lawn was neatly trimmed and two cars were parked in the driveway, indicating someone was home. Jack took a deep breath and reached for the door latch when the front door to Kim's house opened and out stepped Kim, her husband and in his arms, a little boy, followed by a dog. Jack froze. Buchanan told Jack that Kim had gotten married, but he never mentioned a child. The boy had to be about two years old. Jack felt tears begin as he smiled for the second time today—He had a grandson.

The father put the little boy down and the child and his dog went into his front yard to play. Jack couldn't stop watching the child. He had blonde hair and chubby cheeks. He was chasing the dog and laughing. Kim and her husband were chatting on the front porch and laughing. Jack tore his eyes away from his grandson to watch his daughter. Her hair was short, just behind her ears and she was wearing a long skirt and lots of silver jewelry. Jack smiled again. His little girl had finally grown up. At that moment, Jack realized that he was still sitting in the car and hadn't made a move to get out.

He watched Kim's husband kiss her, wave good-bye to his son and walk to his car. Seconds later, Kim's husband pulled out of the driveway. If there was ever a time for Jack to make a move, it would have to be now. Jack reached for the door handle again. Just then, Kim called to her son—"Jack, it's time to go inside." Again, Jack froze. His grandson was named after him. He had been afraid to see Kim again, fearing a similar confrontation to their last one, yet his need to see that she was alright outweighed his fear.

But what was he really after?

Jack realized that his desire to see Kim was a result of his selfishness. Just as he had wanted to escape with Audrey, his desire to see Kim was to fulfill a deep sense of loneliness within himself. Yet, he never gave any of the women in his life what they needed most—security. His wife died because he failed to recognize a threat within his own unit. Kim had been kidnapped and nearly killed because he couldn't leave his job. Audrey had been kidnapped and tortured because he had made a risky decision that had ramifications that he had not imagined. Now that he had a grandson. Was he going to put the baby's life at risk too?

No, thought Jack releasing the door handle. They were safer without him. He was going to have to find a way to live without them in his life. Jack took a long look at his grandson and daughter who were chasing the dog around the yard. He would have to find a way to be happy, knowing they were safe. Kim picked up her son and called for the dog to follow them into the house. As she shut the door behind her, Jack started the engine and took one last look.

"Good-bye Jack," he said quietly. "Good-bye."


End file.
